Thursday, June 3, 2010

You Guys, I Am So Nervous


I'm nervous because I'm getting a massage today. Now, I have had some experience with masseuses. (Is the plural masseusi?) I've had one who walked in too soon, when I had undressed but wasn't under the sheet yet. Both of us tried to cover with small talk but it was too late: I just couldn't go back again. It was a guy, so that makes a difference I think. I've had other massages where you walk out feeling like a cat -- like someone lightly stroked your back for thirty minutes and even though it's nice, it's not therapeutic.

Personally, I like deep tissue massages. I want to feel it days later. I want to feel a difference in my muscles. So I'm nervous because I hope the masseuse will do it that way. But I'm also nervous that he will do it too much that way and that this will hurt.

I think this massage will actually hurt.

Also, my mother -- whom I love -- is having oral surgery today. So I am hoping the best for her. Mouth surgery pretty much sucks.

I was trying to think of a kind of surgery that doesn't suck, but I think they all do. My appendectomy was pretty easy, but I still had to go to the hospital and all.

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I am the unreliable witness to my own existence