Thursday, May 29, 2008

Glam



All of you know that Hannah is a very glamorous woman. However, you probably don't know how hard she has worked to achieve that high level of style. So I found a couple of pics that caught her practicing her glam. You can tell how much more practiced she is from the time she was two until around eight. Of course, when you're two and your mother is dressing you in Tommy Togs handed down from your cousin Matt glamor can be a little hard to achieve.
As I recall the socks were birthday presents - sort of a tradition in our family - but only H would have the panache to wear them with sunglasses!

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Politics


The most accurate predications for election outcomes turns out to be betting pools. I found this one on the web. It follows the theory of the "intelligence of the crowd". You will see the Obama's nomination is now assured and that he will be the next president of the United States. Done deal. Yes, you guessed it. I also am an Obama fan. Although I do draw the line at fawning.

In the meantime I am beginning to count Electoral College votes.

Mugshots


Just some of the funniest mug shots ever. Somehow its the combo of green hair, orange shirt and the half smile. One wonders what he was going for. As for me, if I ever get arrested I'll do it right after my hair appointment and I'll remember to wear my pearls and smile. For more click on this link.

Homecoming princess.


Princess?! Oh, yeah. I bet you never guessed this secret form her past. She was football Homecoming princess. Sophomore year, South Vance High School. So cool. Well, maybe it wasn't "princess". Perhaps it was more like attendant. She was escorted by her favorite guy - her father.

Sunday, May 25, 2008

Swimming


Hannah is traveling - as you may remember - and has left me with her blog. I've decided on a series called "Little known facts about Hannah" She has assured me that I can't embarrass her so of course I'm going to do my best. You can help, dear reader, by giving her grief about all you will learn in the next few days.

We are starting with Hannah's career as a synchronized swimmer. The picture was taken for publicity for the team, meaning that it was posted on the bulletin board along with the photos of the other team members. Well, actually the swimming fulfilled her PE credits. But I know she enjoyed it and that it was her secret career ambition to join the US synchronized swim team. If you want to see the best in the world go to this webside. It's amazing and hilarious. You tube has many spoofs.

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Brain Cancer

Ted Kennedy has brain cancer. Im pretty sure its the same kind my sister and father-in-law had. Wow. I don't know what to say other than it seems like the American public is going to learn a lot about glioblastomas in the coming months.

Off to London and Berlin

for two weeks. WOOO HOOO!!! S0 in the meantime I will have a guest blogger. I realize my loyal readers cannot go so long without posts. At this point it will either be Kendra or Mom. Im staging a Battle Royale later today to see who will win. (Im actually guessing it will be mom because kendra has lsats).

k, thats all.

Thoughts on Badassery


I was fortunate enough to catch up with a good friend yesterday. Kristofer and I had a long talk on being badasses. More specifically, how to be badass while still working for The Institution. Kris, I love you man. You are really funny and smart. Im lucky to count you as a friend. But just for inspiration, I wanted to post this obama ad. This is how you do badassery. (And honest Kris, lets stop whoring ourselves out and unleash the inner badassness.)

God, He's Cool


I mean, serious now, isn't this pretty fucking cool for a presidential look?

Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Here is the Story

With Erica in Jersey and Casey working, I made plans to shoot pool with John Miles. On my way over at a really dangerous intersection I stopped. But there was a little hill to the left, and I didnt see the Ford Explorer speeding over the hill when I started moving through. So my brand-new car is missing its front. I'm no expert, but Im fairly sure its totaled--the axle is off and the engine is smushed.

It was a pretty hairy freaky experience. It could have been worse, but its wasn't great.

The bright point? The only thing I am looking forward to is that Im going to England on Friday!!!!!!

Car-nage



John Miles, You are a Rock Star


So I was on my way to shoot pool with John at the Green Room when I had the accident. When I was standing there literally shaking and not sure who to call I realized John was expecting me. Not only did he show up and give me a lift and do his best to take my mind off things, he was really a gentleman about the whole thing. So thank you John, and thanks to your friends too.

Some other people who helped cheer me up after my accident: Brian, Erin and Karen. They were all really nice and did their best to smooth over a rough situation. Thanks guys--you were very sweet.

Saturday, May 17, 2008

i totaled my car last night

all thanks to john miles for being a rock star and taking care of me while I was in a very traumatic state.
at a stop sign, I stopped but a guy was speeding and took off the front of my car. I have a little whiplash, but otherwise ok. the car, however, is probably a write-off.

yeah, Im still freaked out though.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

this is what it looks like when you take a picture of yourself in the cinema


You don't have to say it. I know I am brilliant. I am engineering an entirely new form of photography.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Counting Crows

Its not just a silly band name. Here is the rhyme:

One Crow is ill news Two Crows mirth Three Crows a wedding Four Crows a birth Five Crows for riches Six Crows a thief Seven Crows a journey Eight Crows for grief Nine Crows a secret Ten Crows for sorrow Eleven Crows for true love Twelve's a new day tomorrow

I've been counting eight or ten crows for awhile now. Looking for twelve. Let me know if you see them.

If you want, you can send me a message

hi all,

No post tomorrow. May 15th is the four-year anniversary of my now-defunct marriage. I am dee-pressed.

If you want, you can send me a message about any awesome qualities you might think I have. It would cheer me up.

In the meantime (sigh, hand on forehead) I will forge on . . . .

I Know She Misses Me Too


awwwwwww . . . .

So Happy Together


Oki. Goddamn I miss that dog.

Hopping the Pond

Hooray! Im so excited.

I'm going to London next week--leaving Thursday night and arriving Friday May 23rd. Heather and I are going to Berlin Tues the 27th through Thu the 29th. And we're going to see Midsummer's Night Dream at the Globe on Friday.

We'll probably hit up a few old haunts (316 Commercial Road ring a bell? Remember how when something was sub-par we'd refer to it as being "so 316"?) Heather lives in Putney with her fella, John, and that is pretty close to one of my favorite places to tie one on--riverside in Hammersmith. And by "close" I mean "in the same city." And you can believe I will be buying magnets. Oh yes. There will be magnets.

Then Im going down to Dorset to kick it with Great-Uncle Dave and his old lady Sarah. I want to be like him when I get old. He's so cool. But he's also reaching elder statesman status in the family, so I need to go talk to him about a couple things and receive his wisdom.

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Do You Know About Kasper Hauser?


They are a four-man comedy group and they are hilarious. I can't even tell if the photo above is really them or not. But they have been called the American Monty Python because the stuff they do is nonsensical and hilarious (as opposed to nonsensical and boring like lots of comedy out there). You can find them at kasperhauser.com. I especially recommend listening to the "This American Life" parodies. They get the format and Ira Glass's voice JUST RIGHT. Its so funny it kills me. They do a show on people who suffer from phantom high schools: "The diploma crumbled into dust, and the whole school was made from spider-web crystals and dissolved and the school turned into a tomato patch." Please go listen to it.

The Rocking Out Sequence

















Just hanging out, listening to some Bruce and really feeling it. I feel it, ya know?

I Luv 2 Rock


'Nuff said. Clearly, I enjoy rocking out.

Monday, May 12, 2008

MORE TATOOING IS IN THE CARDS

I have a date with my tattoo lady in Charlotte on Saturday June 14th at 12:30 to get some coloring done. Anyone want to split the driving with me? I'll buy you lunch in return for documentation. And I will most likely either pass out or fall asleep on the way back. Or do you want dibs, Kendra?

Next Adventure . . . .

Going to see my girl Heather in Londontown and then we're jaunting to Berlin.
Sweetie, I cannot wait!!!

I Have a Daemon, And His Name is Laefe


Let me be clear: the movie SUCKED. I have complicated feelings about Nicole Kidman (I respect her leaving that mess of a man known as Tom Cruise, but I don't see what all the fuss is about--she always looks like a botoxed ghost to me), but even with those aside the movie is a disaster.

But I really did enjoy the books. And if you go to the movie website, the one redeeming feature is you can take a quiz and find out what your daemon is. Mine is a chimpanzee named Laefe. I am modest, inquisitive, responsible, flexible and spontaneous, so I got matched to chimpanzee daemon. Hooray! I already love Laefe but I'm going to rename him Barney and teach him how to go for beer runs.

Sunday, May 11, 2008

You Might Think This is Stupid . . . .

But I cannot stop listening to "Spicy Pony Head." I get some new layer of nuance every time I hear it. I'm laughing so hard it hurts me. I highly recommend that you go down to the youtube post and listen to it. It is fun-nay!

Baby Mama Drama


Went to go see "Baby Momma" last night, which was really enjoyable. And I learned you can take a photo in the cinema as long as you don't put the flash on. I think $8.50 entitles me to a still frame.

Listen, I Clean Up Ok


Danny C took this one of me in the gardens. See? I can take a decent photo.

Thursday Night at the Fed


Erica, Casey, my friend Danny, me, and Patrick went out for some drinks on Thursday night at the Federal. It was good fun (photos below). I took this pic of Erica, who is fast becoming one of my favorite people to photograph, because I love the play of the windowpane.

Matt Drinks, But Dainty-Style


Nice use of pinky, Irvin. Good work on your alcohol consumption.

Patrick Finds Money to Be Soooooo Boring


Patrick, modeling the new $5 bill, could really care less about money. We get it Patrick, you're too smart to get excited about money. Jeeeez. You don't have to rub it in our money-grubbing faces.

Look, Just Because I Posted an Unflattering Photo Doesnt Mean You Have to Hate Me


Tee hee hee. After I told Patrick I was going to post that photo he got his revenge by giving me the stink eye. Get over it, sucka!!!

Danny is in Town!!

This is me, Patrick and my friend Danny from Seattle. I look cute in my summer dress, Patrick is not looking at me with contempt (for a change), and Danny is shocked to have his picture taken for the first time ever. C'mon Cifaldi . . . it's called "flash photography."

Laverne and Shirley
















At this point, I have so many photos of Erica and Casey in this position--laughing over a drink. I really like the L&S-esqe photo where you're waving. You guys crack me up. Serious.

It's a Metabox!!


It came with a box in a box, making it the metabox. Patrick modeled it nicely for us. Thank you, Patrick.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Ready for a Youtube Sesh??

OK, prepare to laugh.

Courtesy of Erica, Casey and Patrick I bring you the following:

Everest is now cleared for the gays

Grape Stomping Lady gets her comeuppance, and then comeuppance is remixed

Dirty Monkeys

Through my own youtube wanderings I find and present the following:

The Vader Sessions had me laughing for evs. Imagine James Earl Jones's dialogue from other films brilliantly edited into the first star wars film.

If that makes you laugh, try Chad Vader, Day Shift Manager series.

I'm beginning to love the fake trailers for films: the upbeat one for The Shining, and the scary one for Mary Poppins.

Finally, Spicy Pony Head is very weird, but awfully funny.

Thursday, May 8, 2008

"L" is not "R"

This is one of the best mix-ups of R and L that I have yet seen--far more interesting that the rice/lice and play/pray pairs that one usually sees. So please, lets all remember, not to little. Don't do it in your car, and don't do it to each other. Its not right.

ABD for a Week!!

Erica, me and Casey at Rue Cler last Friday--when it was finally all over. Sorry for the delay in getting them up. Geez, this was a nice moment for them. And I finally get to waste their time again! Hooray for me! Hooray for them! Im really proud of y'all.

I Know You Won't Believe Me When I Say I Don't Have a Sweet-tooth


But after champagne and lunch at Rue Cler we split three desserts: Chocolate terrine, creme brulee and the crepe of the day (flambeed bananas--no cool whip--with chocolate sauce). Later in the day I ate two ice cream cones. Absolutely unbelievable performance on my part--five desserts in one day. Sheesh. At least I started running again.

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Primary Wrap-Up

Politico has an article on Obama taking a decisive step towards being the presumptive nominee. It appears that the landslide here in NC gives him quite an edge in popular vote and pledged delegates. Clinton's Indiana win wasn't strong enough to back up her argument that the superdelegates should override the popular vote and deliver the nomination to her.

I have to say again, that I find it extremely racist that the media are focusing on white voters, as though black voters don't count. I was pretty happy when Donna Brazil snapped at Paul Begala on CNN last night for exactly the same reason.

The Washington Post has a nice article about how Obama changed his narrative with the help of his wife Michelle (I am a fan).

Finally, in a follow-the-money story, it looks like Hillary is running out of cash which might severely hamper her campaign in the remaining states like West Virginia.

Final Line: It looks like Obama is the presumptive nominee of the Democratic Party for the 2008 Presidential Election.

Please feel free to post differing opinions here, I appreciate diversity of opinion.

Lets Go Back to My Tat Just For a Second


I like this photo because I have just a tiny inkling (ha!) of what Im in for. Look at the bravado. Its all show, people, all show.

This Is Sort of an After Photo



It's only one side, but you can see the main koi fish. It isn't really sore but it does itch just a wee bit these days. Ive got a date with Margaret to start the color on June 21. Those cherry blossoms were possibly the most painful thing Ive ever endured, but I really love them.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

YIPPEE DO!!!!


My man Barack has won North Carolina. I heart Barack.
But seriously now--if Hill wins the nomination I will vote for her. I ain't a hater. But I love my man.

It's North Carolina (and Indiana) Primary Day!!!!



wooo hooo hooo. I'm going to vote for the pro-tattoo candidate. Not enough has been debated on tattoo rebates and incentives.

OK, so for your roundup:
The New York Times lays out a couple different scenarios (a Clinton sweep, an Obama sweep, a split result)

Politico explains what to look for in North Carolina and Indiana. Basically, the higher the voter turnout and the more African-Americans, the better for Obama. Late deciders usually break for Hillary.

Personally, I think the whole argument th.at only Hillary can get white blue-collar voters is extremely racist. Obama gets 90% of the African American vote, a core constituency of the Democratic base. If the superdelegates go against the popular vote and the pledged delegate count, Hillary will loose the African American vote, and that something that the media has entirely overlooked. I guess white voters are the unheard story of the century (yawn).

Oh yeah, moving on . . .
More superdelegates are going for Obama says the LA Times.

Arianna Huffington breaks the news that McCain did not vote for George Bush. While its not too much to consider that he probably voted for himself as a write-in, the picture is just priceless.

Oh yeah, I posted a picture of this random dog because Im tired of looking at politicians' faces. even though I love Barack, Im still tired of photo ops. This dog was much more pleasant to look at.
Thanks, and happy voting today!

Monday, May 5, 2008

It's Time for a Tattoo


Ok, for ages Ive wanted to get a full back piece done, but my ex-husband Gavin always said no fucking way. I wanted a beautiful traditional Japanese piece--waves (in honor of Sarah), koi, cherry blossoms and lotus flowers and a dragonfly. I also want an octopus to mark my long-standing obsession with that certain cephalopod. I wanted Rodney Raines to do it, but he is booked solid for the next three years. I decided to work with Margaret Moose instead. One, because she works with Rodney and he highly recommends her, and two, she is a tattoo lady which I find very appealing. She was so down to earth and awesome. Kendra very kindly went with me to get the first session of linework done. Im going to have about 5-8 more trips to get the color done. But come with me, won't you, on a photo essay of the first session?

Hey Mom, At Least Im Not Getting This


After looking through a book of koi (different body and mouth positions) Kendra and I decided this was the most frightening one. And I decided at that moment not to tattoo it on my back. Good choice, right Ma? This scares me.

The Drawing


Margaret Moose, my tattoo lady at Ace Custom Tattoo in Charlotte--widely recognized as the best tattoo shop in North Carolina--freehanded most of the tattoo on my back. I loved it immediately. Except the little problem of holding onto the bra, it was perfect.

I Had to Wear One of the Band's Shirts


I'm kidding. Since tank tops are totally inappropriate for back tattoos, the shop lent me a work shirt. Jason (see below) took this photo. The name is "Bull." There is something weirdly reassuring about dudes with full body tattoos and piercings coming in and saying "fuck, Ive never seen a chick get a tat that big." The black gloves the tattoo artists wear: much less reassuring.
























If there was ever any doubt that I am a total wuss, look at the above pics. I was grabbing a stranger's leg. (jason, and we are now txt buddies), and completely--and might I add--legitimately fearful about the level of pain I was about to endure. But it was worth it, for beauty, for art, and for myself. God love it, I was scared though. And I have to say, Im not smiling. I am grimacing. there is a difference, people.

Rodney Raines


Here is the legend, with paper towel chaps and all.

Sharkmouth Viking Girl


OK, it might have been that I had endorphins rushing through my brain and I was just too fucking stupid to pick up on the conversation, or that I imagined that a bandsaw was cutting into my bones and it made me preoccupied. But I missed this completely. Rodney Raines is a pretty famous tattoo artist, and Kendra was asking him about annoying customers. He said that people come in all the time saying "oh Rodney, use my body as a canvas for your art." and he doesnt want that responsibility, right? So he points to this picture and says "Ive been really excited about bringing sharkmouth viking girl to life--does that sound good to you?" and they say "oh, I was thinking about a anchor with my mom's name on it." (kendra, is that about right?)

this picture makes me laugh and laugh and laugh. sharkmouth viking girl. yes. bring her to life!






So this is Margaret working on me and us starting to finish up.

I am the unreliable witness to my own existence