It's May!!

Yes, I am able to count months as well as days. Speaking of days, there are thirteen of them left until we have our party. Y'all are invited. I'm currently working out how to do fruit pies that aren't so juicy they mess up the pie crust.

So right now I'm having headaches, which is worrying. Could be anxiety (I have that). I'm sure I'm not chewing my teeth at night. But I slept plenty and plenty good last night and the caffeine that should be helping isn't. So this is the third day of headache, so I think maybe I will go to my doctor tomorrow.

Speaking of my doctor, Dr Han, I want to say a little about Dr Han. First, he is Chinese. He studied at Cornell and is a very smart man. Second, he is completely unintelligible. He knows that the words that he says often don't sound like anything anyone can understand. For some reason, I find this incredibly comforting, though I can't explain exactly why. We use a lot of sign language with each other. Like if he says "take this medicine before you sleep" it comes out as "take" (miming taking medicine) "and then" (he puts his hands beside his head, rests his head on them and then closes his eyes. The universal sign language for sleep, basically) and then he'll put up, say, four fingers and then "four nights. You do." Then he'll repeat the miming of medicine and sleep four times. I love him! There is a complete absence of White Coat Syndrome because I find him so charming, smart and lovely. So I might see him tomorrow and have some kind of chat with him. He's also the first male doctor I've had in seven years. The one problem that I do have--and this is just my psychology -- is that he does the "r" and "l" thing -- where he mixes them up. Why does it bother me? Because 1) it is consistently true that when native speakers of languages don't have a difference between "r" and "l" sounds mix them up and 2) I feel racist for noticing. Still, take all that into consideration and I still love Dr Han. I think he is awesome

I've also been thinking about something that I think about a lot: being a good person. What is a good person? Can a good person also do something bad? Am I a good person? Believe me, more than anything I want to be good. Does that mean I just garden and love all creation? Or do I need to do more? Am I doing more? I don't know. I think I'm good. I don't know. Thoughts?

Finally, I have to, have to recommend two films:

"Le Chambre des morts" -- if you liked "Silence of the Lambs" at all, give this a viewing. It's amazing. It's French, yes, but so good that the subtitles are worth it.

"Head On" -- German/Turkish -- Oh my god. I have seen love stories, but nothing, ever, like this. Loved it.

So those are my opening thoughts for May.

May 15 (Saturday) 1:30, party at the farm. Be there or be square.