Having a Wicked Time

God, isn't she cute? I love her. Unfortch, I will never see her again after this weekend thanks to the separation. Gav decided to enforce total custody of her. oh me . . . .

Casey! You're Gonna Rock the House

This picture makes me laugh. Remember this? We're all like "WTF? Serious? "My face does not get more severely questioning that this. Check out that eyebrow arch. You look pretty serious yourself. I think if you whip out that look in your prelim it will silence the committee. Silencio!!!! Try it. Please try it.

Don't Want to Run Late Today

But I have to give a shoutout to Erica. Sweet Erica finished her prelims yesterday! Hooray!!!! I took a whole bunch of pictures but I don't have time to post them just yet. I have to get to the office so Im not late for Casey's last prelim exam.

But I will make a point of posting later on today.

Also Heather my love, don't boycott me. I love you. I'll never silence your absurd devotion to Hillary.

Sorry if I haven't been reachable by phone lately--today is the last day I'll be ultra-busy. Life should go back to normal by Sunday. (Sunday, I might add, is the pie baking competition. Get your aprons ready.)

PMS and the Last Day of Classes

So yesterday, April 23rd was the Last Day of Classes at Duke. LDOC is a tradition--the student union invites some major bands to play free concerts and everyone spends the whole day drunk. This year they invited The Roots and Third Eye Blind to play. So I was looking forward to seeing the Roots when PMS struck.

Generally, I don't enjoy the headaches, feeling tired and also like someone kicked me in the cho-cha. I mean, who does? But I had a mani-pedi date with Erica and spending an hour and half with her is like an antidote. Erica, thank you for the talks and the spiffy nails. I feel like my toes have been de-stubbified. love you lady!

I have to report that PMS has returned this morning. and now it feels like Ive been kicked in the babymaker instead of the cho-cha. (yes, those are real terms to me.) But I have good reason to get in gear and get going. (more on that tomorrow.)

A Little Los Comales, You Say? Yes, Please!

Los Comales is one of the best-kept secrets in the Dirty D. If you like Mexican food, that is. I got the mole verde, pictured here. And it comes with a big pile of fluffy hand-made tortillas. I washed this down with some melon agua fresca. I could not finish the whole thing, but it was deeeelish. It's near Roxboro and Club, if you are over that way. It's super-cheap and really really authentic and good.

(Kris, I hope this information does not fall into the hands of those who would use it to write a lame review on a food blog. ahem. With all due respect, I mean.)

The Band Was Awesome, Shame About the Crowd

I think this picture says alot about the crowd--dudes in baseball caps with plastic cups of Busch Light taking pictures while the Roots were laying down some fresh beats on stage. Standing there was like being in a high school hall in between class changes: tons of people rushing around and no one standing still. In fact at one point a girl leaned up against my back. I thought she was really wasted and needed a gravity break. But then I heard her yell to her friends that she was getting a picture with a "random" to celebrate the night. That random was me! wrong! and weird. wtf?

even though The Roots were great and there were a hundred students really into it, most of the crowd was just waiting for the main act--Third Eye Blind. That's right. The Roots were opening for Third Eye Blind. That is beyond whack in my opinion.

Best Use of Tuba in a Hip-Hop/Rap Act Goes To . . .

THE ROOTS! (I guess that was a no-brainer, right?)
This was the first time I've ever in my life heard a tuba solo. Ever. And listen, that dude did not ever take a break. I thought his cheeks would explode, he would pass out and his sweat would pool on the stage and cause all the other band members to slip and fall. Get that dude a chair! Serious. Ive never in all my life seen a dude groove on the tuba. That alone was worth it. Also, ?uestlove has to be one of the best drummers around. He was just grooving. Too bad about the crowd.

Penis Theft Panic Hits Kinshasa

KINSHASA (Reuters) - Police in Congo have arrested 13 suspected sorcerers accused of using black magic to steal or shrink men's penises after a wave of panic and attempted lynchings triggered by the alleged witchcraft.

Intrigued? Yes, I know I am.

Here is the link.

Pennsylvania Primary Wrap-Up

OK, so you might know by now that Clinton won Pennsylvania by ten points. Which is good, but sadly inconclusive. I say sadly because now a good percentage of Democrats are polarized enough to vote for McCain (!!!) if their candidate of choice is not the Democratic nominee. CNN has the raw numbers here. Needless to say, that is some bad news as the party will need to unite behind the nominee.

The New York Times has all but withdrawn their endorsement of Clinton, saying that her negativity has become destructive.

Politico has an analysis of the Clinton win.

And of course the Huffington Post is popping with new editorals.

Here's my take on it: Clinton won the popular vote in Pennsylvania, but Obama is still ahead in overall votes as well as delegates. He now has 1464 pledged delegates. Clinton has 1302. She needs the superdelegates, and frankly I don't think the superdelegates should reverse the votes of the electorate.

Thoughts?

Dear Maggie

I love you. You are awesome. And I do think you are a naked young Bruce Springsteen every time I look at that photo.

xoxo
Hannah

Yay! You're Done Writing!!!!

Two of the hottest bitches I know are done writing their prelim exams!!!! Hooray! Erica I am looking forward to our date at the salon today. You are going to look hot. Don't be surprised though when I suggest you to get the french manicure with red tips. Classy! And Friday--bring on the champagne--you'll both be ABD!

Love you both so so much. You'll do great!

A Beer at Milltown

Last night was a quick drink at Milltown, sister bar of the Federal. They have a nice beer selection. I approve. It makes me wonder if Joe would be willing to drink there, since he is Anti-Fed. Joe, what say you?

Breaking News!!!!

THIS IS HOW YOU GET OUT OF JURY DUTY!!

"Jurors who are partial to the prosecution or the defense, and who clearly indicate that fact will be excused by either the judge or the attorney picking the case.   If you let them know through your responses to questions that you have all ready made up your mind and know how you'll vote in the jury room without hearing any evidence, you will be excused.  Just pay attention to whether its a civil case - like an auto accident or negligence case, or criminal and then decide which side you want to win or lose, then make up a statement and you'll be on your way home in no time."

(from an anonymous horse's mouth. I have to protect my sources.)

Guess what y'all? I'm a Marxist who believes in aggressive Reconciliation Theology. That's my story and Im sticking to it.

Today is the Pennsylvania Primary!

Politico has a nice rundown of what to look for today in the Pennsylvania primary. It also talks about how Obama is ready to spin a loss as a victory. Personally, I think any candidate that has "Scranton roots" should be disqualified. Scranton roots sound like something you'd need to take a trip to the doctor's to treat.

CNN does a treatment of the campaign fund-raising and brings up the question of Clinton possibly financially mis-managing her money.

USA Today says that Obama is widening his national lead. Hooray!

Finally, the Lefties over at counterpunch.org have started discussing possible avenues of attack on McCain. They say he's the most unstable man to be one election away from the presidency and his time as a POW should be investigated.

There Mom, that is your political roundup. What grade do I get?

Just Checking in with Okidu

Ok, first--when I picked Okidu (her name means "ginormous" in Japanese. Yes, that is a word. And yes, also it was meant to be ironic) on Friday she was HYPER! I guess part of it was that we hadn't spent time together in a couple months. And then also it was Indiana Jones Friday so there were lots of new people around. She was ok, she was just so hyper. She slowly mellowed out over the weekend though and slept with me straight through There Will Be Blood Sunday. (sorry, I know its a good film, I was just tired.)

Here is a good one of her at attention with her heart marking showing.

oh, she is so much fun. But I took her to Locopops and got her a beef locopup. She does not like frozen beef. Just note that for future dog-sitting endeavors.

It's Like Trying to Take a Picture of a Hummingbird in Flight

I like this one because she looks like she is about to sneeze. Ha. Seriously though, pictures cannot convey how small this dog is. Three pounds! Tiny!

Weekend Recap

I'm really hoping to get a picture of Tim because I hear that he ran his time trial and made a seven-minute mile. (Yes, 7:20 counts as a seven minute miles because it wasn't on a track, there were hills, it was probably slightly more than a mile and also it's wayyy less than eight minutes, which would clearly disqualify for the seven minute mile.) Tim, in your honor, I post this picture. If I had a trophy I would give it to you.

Also, Indiana Jones Friday was a resounding success. I think we all learned that Tim (and also my dad) would prefer it if we didn't speak during showings. However, I think we also all learned that films that have a colonized, Orientalized other for an enemy, a Chinese kid sidekick ("oh Indy, you so funny!"), and a horribly one-dimensional female counterpart ("I could have been the best adventure of your life!") should be made fun of mercilessly. At least the Nazis will be back for the last installment. And dinner was DELISH! Thank you Kendra, Tim, Lindsey, Erica and Christian for pitching in.

Finally, I got a huge load of stuff moved over to my parents house on Saturday. All my clothes, books and paintings--three carloads in all. It's definitely made me feel a bit more settled and less homeless, so that is a good thing.

Here's to Erica and Casey as they conquer their prelims this week. Friday night is on like Megatron!!! LOVE YOU TWO--you're going to be just fine. (and if not fine, then at least finished, and that is enough.)

Get This Baby Some Milk, STAT!

I just got introduced to uncommonpics.com. It's a great ever-expanding collection of pictures from around the world. I really liked this one because the mom is so clearly loving the funniness of the moment, and I think thats great. And also its teaching children to appreciate fine art, which I also endorse. Hooray for art. And milk.

Dressed for School . . . .

Another from uncommonpics.com. I LOVE the kid's face in this one. Can I just go ahead and say it one time? AWESOME!

Happy Monday

My weekend custody of Okidu is over, which is sad. But it was really a great weekend. I cannot complain even a bit. I have lots of pics of us together, and I'll get those up soon.

Friend Monkey Brains

(sorry Tim, it was just too cute a slip to not use again!)

TODAY IS INDIANA JONES FRIDAY!!!!!!!
On the schedule: a little din-din (monkey brains, of course), and then some Temple of Doom. My dad and I had planned to have an Indiana Jones marathon, but he gets a little freaked out at the scary parts and needs some company to get through the films. He is so cute, god bless him.

It's going to be an awesome night, friends, some dinner out on the patio and Indy Jones. If you're around and free, come on by.

The Vending Machines of Japan

Thanks mom for sending this to me. It's a photo essay of some of the many types of vending machines in Japan. The funny thing is I actually got used to buying beer from a vending machine. When I think about it now it does seem totally stupid that a country would allow a vending machine to dispense alcohol. On the other hand, teenagers really don't seem to take advantage the way they could.

My other favorite pic is the parking garage shown above. You drive your car in that bay and a hydraulic racks and stacks your car in a (usually) ten-story building. It's pretty cool. But you are beyond screwed if you loose your ticket.

LA Times, What Are You Doing to Me???

You might know that I have to do the LA Times sudoku every morning before I can get going. Lately the puzzles have gotten mega-hard, even the easy ones. Their rating system is completely off--even the two-star puzzles (out of five stars) take forever. It happened about a week ago. Im considering switching to the New York Times. Damn left-coasters.

Do Yourself a Favor

Take this quiz. It will tell you what kind of dog is best for you. It turns out I have a plethora of Frankensten-type dogs that are good for me:

Bullmation
St Bernadoodle
Bassetoodle
Boxador
Boxadoodle

And that's just the B's!
My personal favorite name for a dog is the Silken Windhound. Jesus, I mean it chases the wind!
Make sure you give yourself enough to sort it through and look at all the pictures. It's a terrific way to procrastinate for an easy hour.

(I wanted to post some pictures of the dogs, but the images on that site aren't public domain so I couldn't. Sorry. It's still worth going and looking though.)

Thank you, Danny

My friend Danny sent this to me--its a street sign that he sees almost every day in Seattle. It just makes me laugh and laugh. I LOVE it. Whoever drew in that claw on the person did it perfectly. The Claw totally looks like a vigilante traffic enforcer who might be a pseudo-superhero.

Thanks Danny.

One Good Reason to Vote for Obama

He would immediately review potential crimes of the Bush White House.

Don't Buy This Book

Eric Wilson is the chair of the English Department at Wake Forest and he wrote this book called "Against Happiness." I went to his book talk last night at the Regulator. I thought he was going to talk about the blind pursuit of happiness in American culture, or even how American anti-intellectualism makes patriotism into something that requires unquestioning subservience rather than reasoned criticism of the status quo. No. Wilson is a melancholic and thinks that we should all embrace our gloom because melancholy is a veritable machine of creativity. “The greatest tragedy is to live without tragedy,” he writes. “To hug happiness is to hate life. To love peace is to loathe the self. The blues are clues to the sublime. The embrace of gloom stokes the heart.”

He also says that Americans just don't like to be sad. But seriously--don't many many American artists of all stripes address the importance of death and life through their work? Just try to tell me that Springsteen is obsessed with happiness. Doesn't compute.

Right. To which I say, "if you're so fucking gloomy, Eric Wilson, why the hell isn't this a better book?"
Here's the takeaway: if you feel sad, listen to your feelings because they are meaningful. Also, maybe consider contracting tuberculosis because apparently it works wonders for your creative output.
My recommendation? Don't buy the book.

Saturday Night with Vagina Arm

So Kendra and I went out on Saturday. I was really hoping her post-surgery wrist would be a little more like a lifelike vagina, but post-operative transsexual vagina still counts. It's a great icebreaker, so I took some glamor shots of it to glorify this moment in time. Hooray! Unfortunately Casey and Erica needed to study, but we are planning on a big night after they pass their prelims. (I'm cheering for you guys!) We went to Vita (dead) and then the Fed (also strangely dead). We decided to skip Shooters and the mechanical bull. It was a lovely evening altogether.

Kendra, You are Adorable

And you are funny and I love rocking out with you.

Head Tilts are Crucial

Sometimes on Saturday Night

You can find awesome times in the bottom of a beer. Look really close. There is something in there, I promise.

The the Night Gets Arty

I love that your smile is still beaming out from this. You should form a society devoted to honoring people with radiant smiles.

Wisteria

This is what everything looks like now. Practically all the trees are draped in wisteria, which smells amazing. I know they sort of look like wild grapes, but its just flowers. This is on my morning walk to work, and its times like this when I think about how lucky I am to see and smell such beautiful things as a matter of course in my daily life.

OK Everyone Im Back Now

Sorry, sorry. I still have a cough and sound like Im talking into a box, but Im back to form. First things first: as promised, pictures of Murakami and some of my thoughts on the show. Lots of people have been talking about how Murakami is the new Andy Warhol, but Murakami goes deeper than Warhol ever did. First, Warhol explicitly said that his work was only skin deep--there was nothing behind it and nothing to interpret. Murakami is fairly upfront about the nuances of his work and does a bit of wordplay in naming and talking about them. Also, Murakami actually does run his studio like a factory, to the point where he engineers the design for his pieces so that any one of the graphic designers each know their particular role and can work on them independently of others--a kind of human mechanization of the assembly line. Murakami employees swipe their ID cards to punch in and out of KaiKai Kiki Ltd. and in addition to Murakami's prints, they also design and market a long line of collectibles like figurines, jewelry, stationary, books and clothing that bear the Murakami trademark. Warhol called his studio The Factory, which hinted at the repetitive nature of producing silkscreen prints, but the analogy does not go much deeper than that as the Factory was simply a loose confederation of artists and drug enthusiasts.

Anyway, yes, I think Warhol is important and all--no angry emails please. I just think that Murakami has achieved a critique of culture that was promised in early pop but never delivered.

Whoa, that went a lot longer than I expected. At any rate, enjoy!

Murakami's Cuties

So these are the sorts of things that opened the Murakami show. Lots of cute characters. Lots of big eyes with concentric circles and happy flowers. There were lots of middle-aged New Yorkers and their kids. I guess this show has been marketed as being family-friendly--pop art accessible to kids. They even had placards for the pieces at kid eye-level. I saw lots of moms asking their little tykes, "Can you find the happiest flower?" Things like that. And the kids were fucking going nutso with all the bright colors and shapes. It was sort of funny to watch kids run into the flower-papered room (left picture above) and throwing themselves against the wall, practically licking it. But in my mind, I kept thinking that despite all this, the show is not actually a kid-friendly show. Evidence for this follows . . . .

Then, You See This

The top one is called "My Lonesome Cowboy" and the bottom one (natch) is "Hiropon." So you come around a corner that is all cartoony and cute and these two are waiting for you. I noticed a couple of things:
1. How much it would suck to be the guard at this corner. There are only so many times you can say "no touching the spunk lasso!" before you start to wish you had another job.
2. Everyone who was childless spent a really long time in this area.
3. Everyone with children went through here super-fast.
4. Practically everyone giggled when they saw these. You giggled too, didn't you? It's ok. I don't judge. We're all friends.

The New Murakami Stuff

I open wide my eyes but I see no scenery.
I fix my gaze upon my heart .


This is the sort of direction that Murakami is going these days--incorporating aspects of trauma in nihonga-style hybrid painting. The New York Times says that Murakami is returning to traditional Japanese art, but I don't think that is entirely true. Murakami has always said that his question is exploring why Japan is a nation of infantilized adults (his formulation!) and towards that end he is looking back further historically than he has before. If the NYT wants to believe that Murakami is reverting to the tired cliche of a Japanese artist producing "traditional" works that express his love of nature and harmony, they are seriously missing the point. That is a wag of my finger, New York Times!
Note that he uses a variation of the eye that all his cartoon characters have, and the robe of the man is actually a map of the Japanese islands.

Are You Kidding Me, Facebook??

I find this email waiting for me this morning:

Changes in your ranks:

lost 1 place, now #9 most likely to succeed
lost 1 place, now #10 most generous
lost 1 place, now #32 most dateable
lost 1 place, now #42 best scientist
lost 1 place, now #43 most absentee

Seriously, how am I the #32 most dateable person? Out of what pool? Can I protest? I think Im very dateable. Everyone knows that I have science skills and am a great scientist (maybe not, but I do a little chemistry experiment every morning called "making tea" that involves mixing together extremely dangerous hot water and unsettled green tea molecules to form a stabilized and delicious drink). I have Absentee skills too. At least Facebook isn't telling me my smile stats have been downgraded again. That was just horrifying.

JURY DUTY!?!?!?!

I got summoned to jury duty on May 19. This is disturbing. I mean, sure, Im all about being a good citizen in theory. But Im going to London on May 23rd. This is so going to cut into my leisure time. I've been told if I simply say "I'm a Marxist" during jury selection that should get me out of it, but I don't know if that will do it. Help! Anyone know anything about squirming out of a jury?

Sorry for the delay . . . .

still sick. And I sound like either Selma or Patty, but definitely one of Marge's sisters (from the Simpsons). Im venturing back into work today, wish me luck.

Murakami Money Shots on the Way

Hi,
So Ive updated a little bit, but more Murakami stuff is coming soon. I slept most of the day so I had a little burst of nighttime energy, but I think Im done now. More soon, I promise!

Meet Eric and Frankie

Eric was my sister's roommate for seven years and one of my family's best friends. If you can handle listening to him talk about some of the raunchiest shit that can come out of a person's mouth, you'll find underneath all that he is one of the smartest, kindest and most loyal people you'll ever meet. This is him and his new cat Franklin (who is actually a girl and called Frankie). She is a super-cool cat and was just chilling out in our sushi take-away bag. She even let Eric swing her all around.

Somewhere in Brooklyn, a Cat Sit on a Table

I stayed at Eric's place in Brooklyn--this is his living room and a bedroom off to the left. It's actually a pretty big apartment with three bedrooms and a huge kitchen. Frankie the Cat is all like "what what one time?" Nice, eh? After seeing Eric's terrariums (of which I did not take a picture), I think I might start one. It's a nice way to bring some green into the house.

Eric, I'm Going to Fucking Kill You

If I ask you one more question and you respond with "if it was in your butt you'd know it" I swear I will choke you to death. But clearly you would love it. Ugh. God, you're gross.

Still Though, He's Cool

Even though he's gross, I still love him. He's like my brother, how can I not?

I'm Back . . .

Brooklyn Rawked!!
But now your woman is sick. Really sick. Ick.
stay tuned--I'll update with pics as soon as I can.

What Im Listening To

I know this is so 1990's, but the new Counting Crows, Saturday Nights and Sunday Mornings, is just lovely. It might be because Im in this weirdly self-reflective place and Adam's overly earnest lyrics hit my ears just right. You can see their new video here. I've also been listening to the new Tift Merrit, Another Country.
As my friend Danny would say, if it ain't crying, I ain't buying.

Going to See Murakami

Yippee do! Im going up to NYC to see the Takashi Murakami retrospective at the Brooklyn Museum. He is a really important figure in my interest in the visual representations of trauma. He is so fascinating to me because he takes cuteness and pushes it to the point of grotesque. (Like, uh, note the happy friendly mushroom cloud.) There is more info on the exhibit here. But I may not be able to post for a few days while Im traveling and tooling around Brooklyn.

An Open Letter to Kendra

Dear Kendra,
Please get well soon. You are so funny, smart and adorable. Im so glad I know you. And not just because you offered to drive me around after I get my tattoo. Great night last night. Hope you are keeping on keeping on, and that the pain stays low.
Love you lady!
Hannah

KENDRA WINS!!!!

Im happy to announce that Kendra is the winner of the first annual readership contest. The most loyal reader gets to have dinner with me. I know, unbelievable! Her excitement is expressed by her man, Tim (see below for the explanation as to why Kendra's face is not pictured).

I like to reward my readers. So the next contest winners will receive exclusive invitations to my Indiana Jones marathon. I just want to give back to the community . . . .

That's a Lovely Hand, Are You a Hand Model, By Any Chance?

Brave Kendra just had surgery to remove a tumor on her wrist. The tumor was on her bone and quite a bit of bone/muscle tissue was removed as well. So she has this bandage that must weight about ten pounds.

However, Kendra is whipsmart and hand a manicure done before surgery. So here she is, modeling her hand (and therefore, bandage) on some flowers.

Isn't she lovely? Is it bad that this picture makes me laugh and laugh? Also, I promised Kendra I would not post any photos of her face/body while she's recovering.

Tim Cooks

I brought over the food, yes, but Tim prepared it. The menu: minestrone soup, cheddar grit cakes and baguette. Of course, I didnt make any of it myself. But it was delicious nonetheless.

Tim, here's to you: an impeccable preparer of dinners and a mixer of rawkous cd's. I love ya.

This is Me, Enjoying Dinner

Yes, the lucky winners get to have dinner with me. Can you believe how lucky they are? I mean, dinner--with me! This is how I reward loyal readers. (Casual readers, take note: this could be you!)

Not to Brag But . . .

This is the path to my parking lot. I mean, is this out of control or what? Beautiful!!! Cherry trees (my favorite) and blooming redbud. Its so gorgeous. When I walk back to my car every day I just can't believe how lucky I am to work in basically a giant garden.

Oh and Happy April Fool's Day

Let's all play a delightful joke on someone today. Just a reminder. You know. In case you forgot.

Dear Kendra and Tim

One delicious dinner coming your way tonight. Hope you're doing well sweetheart. We can bone up on our trivia to prepare for domination at the next game night.
xoxox
Hannah

This Just In: Flaws 11 & 12

Im buffering this hard-hitting post with a really cute picture. God Case, when will you realize you do take good pictures?
OK, here it is:

11. I love any sick shit that has to do with octopus. Like this. Or this. Or even, god forbid my ma should click on it, this . It makes me feel ooky and weird, but I love it.

12. I procrastinate. I''d say more about it but Im running late.